MTV’s Top 100 of 1985, a look back (Part 1)

Like most of the world, I’ve been spending a lot of time indoors lately, absorbing as many distractions as possible from this hellscape that we call 2020.

Early on in the pandemic, an incredibly kind soul uploaded a metric crapton of vintage MTV clips to the Internet Archive. This repository has been an absolute godsend for me right now. With the present world in shambles and the future not looking that much better, I’ve not ashamed to say that I’ve used this collection of vintage VHS rips to dive headfirst into the past, soaking up as much audio/video content from my childhood years as possible. All for that fleeting dopamine fix that is rose-tinted nostalgia.

For me, the crown jewel of the entire collection is the 1985 Top 100 countdown, which is included in its entirety, complete with commercials, VJ breaks and news bits. It’s a wonderful time capsule that serves as an amazing document to that incredibly important year in music. While not all scenes and styles are present on the countdown this year (MTV was getting more diverse, but they still weren’t showing a lot of hip-hop, nor anything particularly intense like punk rock either), the list does feel like a perfect microcosm of what was really popular that year, the big guns, the stuff that left an impact.

And Billy Ocean, but we’ll get to him.

While there are more than a few totally forgotten songs on this list, the overwhelming majority of them are legit classics now. So many timeless numbers are here. Since MTV’s countdowns from other years in the decade are not as easy to find, it’s hard to compare them to this list, but I have to imagine that this one stands out for just the sheer number of songs that you still hear on the radio today. 1985 really was a banger of a year for pop music.

And since I have nothing better to do for the foreseeable future, I decided to write about every single one of them. The good, the great, the well-remembered, the terrible, and the utterly forgotten. Doing so, I noticed some patterns and trends of the era that are forgotten now (70s rockers really did well in the 80s, seriously), and was also reminded that some stereotypes of the decade are stereotypes for a reason (so much hairspray, my god, and hair metal hadn’t even really taken hold yet).

I hope that in reading this, memories of what you were doing when you first heard these songs are jogged loose, and bring a smile to you in these times where it seems like smiles are hard to come by.

But let’s kick things off with a nice, long, cry.

 

100. Godley & Creme – “Cry”

Godley & Creme were in the soft rock prog act 10cc. If you know them at all, it’s probably because of the song “I’m Not In Love,” which is a slow jam sad rock classic.

Cry is also a slow jam sad rock classic, well it’s kind of a classic. The song was barely a hit in the states, and I suspect that was largely because of this video, which featured a very early attempt at would we would later call “morphing” – minus any CGI, it’s entirely done with clever fades and transitions.

Both “Cry” and “I’m Not In Love” are both great songs, but they’re both great songs I don’t hear that very often. Not only are they both depressing as hell, they both fall into that mid-tempo range of adult contemporary rock that often just makes me fall into a fugue like state. I’ve worked in too many offices and been exposed to office-friendly radio far too much to have any tolerance left for this sort of thing. Give me something with some pep, some energy, something to get me moving.

 

99. Katrina And The Waves – “Walking On Sunshine”

 

YEAH THIS IS THE SHIT I NEED.

Still awesome. Although in times like these, songs this chipper can come off as ironic and best and downright antagonistic, almost like they’re teasing me with their upbeat attitude and happy-go-lucky outlook. I’m neither walking on sunshine nor feeling good right now, Katrina, and all your synth horns won’t get me there. But I guess I appreciate your efforts. I hope one day I can feel just a tenth as happy as you all are here.

 

98. Eddie Murphy – “Party All The Time”

1985 was an utterly brilliant year for music that gave us some of the best new wave, metal, pop, and R&B, but they can’t all be winners. I was just six when this song first came out, and I remember that I always thought he was saying “potty all the time.” Since I was six, that was damn hilarious.

That probably would’ve been a better song too. Depends could’ve used it in their commercials.

“Do you have to potty all the time? Get back into life with Depends!”

I mean, as it stands now I already associate the song with piss, so why not.

Eddie Murphy will not be returning on this countdown, spoiler.

 

97. INXS – “This Time”

INXS had two singles in 1985, “This Time” and “What You Need,” and if you would’ve asked me which song would’ve charted on this list, I certainly would’ve picked the latter, but here we are. Another song I have no memory of, and certainly one that has fallen by the wayside compared to other, bigger, better, hits by the group. I mean, don’t get me wrong, “This Time” is a good song and it comes from Listen Like Thieves, which is a good album. But “This Time” sure as hell ain’t “Need You Tonight” and Listen Like Thieves sure as hell ain’t X.

 

96. The Motels – “Shame”

 

I know very little about The Hotels. “Only The Lonely” is a good track, but again, I’m not really a fan of radio-friendly ballads of that type, so it’s never really clicked with me.

This single came off of the album that followed “Only The Lonely” and it feels like an attempt to copy that song’s success. Similar beat. Similar themes. Similar everything. Also similarly boring. This song was just barely a hit on the radio, and I suspect it fared better on MTV only based on the strength of its video, which is very good. You’re going to see a lot of Venetian blind-based cinematography on this list, and this is a stand-out example of it.

But it’s probably bad when the best thing you can say about a song is “the video had really nice lighting that made good use of Venetian blinds.

 

95. John Fogerty – “Rock And Roll Girls”

Centerfield was Fogerty’s massive comeback hit, after an 11 year hiatus from recording thanks to record company woes. It gave him three hit singles; this, the title track, and another song that we’ll get to later. Of the bunch, I think this is the weakest. Forgery’s biggest strength has always been his timelessness. Great CCR somehow sounds like it’s always existed. It’s elemental. “Fortunate Son” could’ve been recorded in 1968, 1978, 1988, 1998 and so on. It will never sound dated.

“Rock and Roll Girls” sounds like a 1980s song going for a 1960s vibe so much that I’m surprised that Al Lowe didn’t co-write it. This song hasn’t been entirely lost to time, but I can’t think of the last time I heard it brought up in an 80s flashback weekend or retro playlist, that’s for sure.

Still though, this song, which is not great, will prove to be better than many of the songs on this list by his fellow 60s/70s rock contemporaries.

 

94. David Bowie and Pat Methany – “This Is Not America”

Sometimes an artist can notch a hit just through momentum alone – see Taylor Swift’s last two albums as examples of that. The same goes for Bowie in the 80s. Let’s Dance was such a runaway smash that the dude could’ve recorded his farts into a microphone in 1985 and it probably would’ve gone gold – but enough about Tin Machine II (zing).

Of course, “This Is Not America” is a very good song, but it sure as hell isn’t a catchy, upbeat pop song. It’s a downbeat jazz-influenced song from a movie about the downfalls of drug abuse and international espionage. It has no place on the pop charts, and in fact, it barely was, only cracking the Top 40 on the Billboard charts. But it was a Bowie song, and it was on a soundtrack at a time when damn near any soundtrack single could be a hit on MTV, and that was all it took for it to get just enough airplay to eek its way onto this list.

Sadly, this is probably Bowie’s last halfway decent hit single of the decade.

 

93. Arcadia – “Election Day”

The first side-project/offshot to make it’s way to the Top 100, unless you count Godley & Creme as an offshoot of 10cc. Largely forgotten now, Arcadia was a spin-off of Duran Duran, featuring singer Simon Le Bon, keyboardist Nick Rhodes, and drummer Roger Taylor. Joining them along for the ride was a multitude of guests, including David Gilmour, Sting, and on this track, Grace Jones. Much like the Bowie track before it, “Election Day” feels a bit too arty and left-field to be a pop song proper. And much like the Bowie track before it, chart success mostly likely came to it thanks to momentum of the artist and not the strengths of the song. Again, I love this song, but it’s just not a pop song.

While Arcadia have largely been left behind compared to the core Duran Duran chronology, let it be known that So Red The Rose is a dope album and one you should definitely give a listen to.

Duran Duran (and their other offshoot) will also make appearances on this countdown.

 

92. Mike & the Mechanics – “Silent Running”

From one side-project to another. Mike & The Mechanices was the brainchild of Genesis’ Mike Rutherford, and while never coming close to the holy shit atomic bomb mega success of Phil Collins’ solo work (trust me, I will be discussing Phil a lot on this list), they did alright for themselves. Their debut album alone garnered three hit singles. This was the only one that came out in 1985 though, meaning that the far superior “All I Need Is A Miracle” won’t be making an appearance. Seriously, “All I Need Is a Miracle” is a fantastic song with a hilarious video. I remember watching it with my mom as a kid and giggling intently at the wacky hi-jinks it unfolds. Check it yourself.

This is a good video too, and the first narrative-fueled video on the countdown (unless you count the studio shenanigans in “Party All The Time” as a story). The narrative, telling the story of a…spaceman and his son(?), is so complex and of important to the band, that music sometimes plays second fiddle to it. Often the music fades out so dialogue in the video can be heard. I’ve never liked that approach. I watch a music video to hear the music. If you got a story to tell, tell it at the beginning and end of the video, don’t interrupt my groove man, even if the groove is arty prog-influenced pop rock.

Also, I feel that if you’re going to interrupt your song to tell a story, at least make your story coherent. What the flying fuck is going on here with that kid and his space dad?

 

91. Madonna – “Like A Virgin”

Shockingly, Madonna’s breakthrough mega-hit is the lowest charting song by her on the Top 100, not even getting out of the 90s. I have to imagine this had more to do when the song came out than the song’s actual popularity. Technically speaking, “Like A Virgin” was released as a single in 1984, not 1985. So maybe most of its appearances on the Top 20 Countdown (which is the metric used for making the Top 100) came in 1984? I can’t think of any other reason. According to the Billboard charts, “Like A Virgin” was the second biggest track of the year, but it’s her lowest charting song on the MTV countdown. Strange.

But I’m not that bothered by it. As big as this song was and continues to be, I’ve never liked it. I hated this song when I was five (I thought she sounded like a chipmunk) and the song never grew on me even as my gay ass has continued to obsess over Madonna for the better part of four decades now. The video isn’t even that memorable as much as her amazing wardrobe is, which also defined the better part of the decade.

More Madonna will be coming, and I’ll be much more exuberant in my exhalations when we get to those songs. Hi, I’m gay.

90. Lionel Richie – “Say You Say Me”

This song won a fucking Oscar (it was in the Gregory Hines, Mikhail Baryshnikov dancing spy vehicle White Nights). It beat “The Power Of Love” for that honor. That’s fucked up. “Power of Love” rules (we’ll be talking about that one later), this song is dried dogshit.

By 1985, the formerly funky Lionel Richie was in 100% adult contemporary sell-out mode. This was his ninth number on on the adult contemporary charts. You know how boring you gotta be to score nine number one adult contemporary hits? You gotta work really hard and put a lot of emotion into music that sounds like it has no emotion behind it at all. That takes a special kind of talent, or lack of talent. Take your pick.

This song was written for White Nights, but it wasn’t on the soundtrack. Instead, it made its way to Richie’s album Dancing On The Ceiling, an album so milquetoast that it makes Hall & Oates edgy.  Of course, the best song on that album is the title track, and that wasn’t released as a single until the following year, meaning it sadly won’t show up in this countdown.

This is the second music video on the countdown from a soundtrack, the first being “This Is Not America.” Both are super boring, prescribing to soundtrack single music video format of the time, which was “force in as many clips from the film as possible, even if lack context or meaning.” The snippets of Hines and Baryshnikov dancing are energetic and exciting, but they’re over so quickly that you never get to see the talent that both dancers obviously have. A much better version of this video would’ve featuring original footage of both of them dancing, but then they would’ve had to figure out how to dance to “Say You, Say Me,” and while both Hines and Baryshnikov were very good dancers, they weren’t that good. No one is.

 

Stay tuned for part two, coming soon! Seriously. I mean it this time.