MTV’s Top 100 of 1985, a look back (Part 2)
Continuing my look at MTV’s Top 100 Countdown of 1985 with numbers 89-80 (part 1 can be found here). This set of ten brings up some huge swings in quality and staying power, with some all-time classics by legendary artists and songs that have been absolutely (and rightfully….and thankfully) lost to the sands of time. This section of the list is also one of many that shows how much power artists from the 1970s still had on MTV. It wasn’t all day-glo and hairspray. You could be a boring white dude in his 40s who was good at playing an instrument and still score a massive hit.
Or Rod Stewart.
89. Wham! – “Freedom”
“Freedom” is a song about a person who refuses to accept that their lover is cheating on them with literally everyone else in town. And it’s the happiest damn thing ever. You could take the lyrics from this song and write a torch song worthy of Whitney Houston. You could turn it into a power ballad for Celine Dion. Wham took it and turned it into a goddamn cheerleader’s cheer. I love it.
As great as the song is (I love it so much) the video is even better. It documents Wham’s trip to China. While today we’re all used to seeing artists and companies sell out their own personal beliefs and values in order get some of that sweet, sweet Chinese money, Wham did it first. Literally. They were the first Western act ever allowed to perform in communist China. Good, safe choice on China’s part. Wham were the most least offensive, political or edgy act of 1985, which is really quite a feat in a year that also had Mr. Mister.
What a video. In addition so great footage of 1980s China, it’s also full of “holy shit how the hell didn’t we know George was flaming gay” moments. As a gay, I can only hope to achieve the levels of gay that George is putting out here. It’s gay iridescence. A gay so gay you can’t look directly at it.
And I also love seeing the Chinese people FREAKING THE FUCK OUT to Wham! I sure as hell can’t blame them. If I was lucky enough to see 1985 George Michael I’d have a hotness-induced heart attack too.
Wham show up three times on this countdown. You can probably guess one of the other tracks (hint, saxophone solo) but good luck with the third.
88. Daryl Hall & John Oates – “The Method Of Modern Love”
Hall & Oates are one of those acts for whom the popular consensus has done the full circle, from mega-star giants, to forgotten has-beens, to ironic faves, and back around again to unironic faves. And its easy to see how all of those changes happened. They became popular because they made incredibly entertaining videos when that was all it took to get ahead; fell out of favor because they couldn’t change with the times; became ironically celebrated when those videos were embraced for their cheese factor; and then unironically beloved when people actually paid attention, listened to their songs, and re-discovered that most of them are rad as hell.
“The Method Of Modern Love” isn’t a “Maneater” or “Kiss On My List,” but its a solid track nonetheless. And the video is full of that trademark cheese that just brings a smile to your face. They look like they’re having fun. They sound like they’re having fun. They must be having fun. And they must want you to have fun with them. And not enough songs incorporate spelling into their choruses. We need to bring that shit back in the 2020s for sure.
While Hall & Oates are rather synonymous with the 80s, this track would kind of prove to be their swan song, at least in terms of popularity. While they continued to chart hits even into the 2000s, nothing after this came close to their previous highs in terms of popularity.
But that ‘stache is forever.
87. Animotion – “Obsession”
Ah yes, the horny Eurythmics.
This song is confusing. Both the guy and the woman are asking”who do I have to be, for you to sleep with me?” But if both of them are asking that question because they want to bang, then I’m going to say that the answer is “damn near anyone.”
Needless questions aside, this is a fantastic piece of synthpop with a monster keyboard riff. There are a lot songs with bright, overly saturated keyboards on this countdown. Most of them sound like shit. This one owns.
It’s all about how you use it. That sound is harsh, abrasive and entirely overpowering. It’s heavy, but they apply it with a feather touch. It opens the track, gets your attention, and then hightails it out of there until the middle of the tune, and then again appears near the end. Good restraint. If this song had come out two years later, that melody would’ve been plastered all over the song and destroyed it.
It’s a well-made but stupid song and it has a well-made but stupid video to match it. I like how they start with a whole Cleopatra/Alexander bit but then, there’s an alien? And a court jester? They obviously took the “who do I have to be” lyric and just ran with it. But that doesn’t explain/excuse the poolside joust battle. This is just one where you gotta throw your hands up in the air, blame the 80s, and move on. And “move on” is exactly what people did with Animoation. They never had another hit and faded into obscurity fast. Like super fast. Like, 1986 fast. Still, they had “Obsession” and it’s a classic. I just hope they got paid good money for it being in that GTA game.
86. Survivor – “The Search Is Over”
I totally forgot this was Survivor, because to everyone who was a child of the 80s, Survivor = “Eye Of The Tiger” and “Eye Of The Tiger” = awesome Rocky shit. “The Search Is Over” isn’t awesome Rocky shit, it’s a power ballad without the power. Barry Manilow could’ve sung this.
Survivor weren’t the first rock band to discover the crossover cash-in potential of a good love ballad that could bring in the ladies, and they certainly weren’t the last. This list has loads of them. As the 70s arena rock style of band like Survivor slowly got replaced by the bombastic hair metal that dominated the latter half of the decade, the formula of “release a hard rocking song for the dudes, and follow it up with some smooth love jams for the ladies” continued to be a winning one. It still is.
Survivor would have one more hit, the Rocky IV jam “Burning Heart.” That’s a solid tune, but it’s no “Eye Of The Tiger.” It’s not even the best song on the Rocky IV soundtrack. My mom remained a fan throughout the 80s though (she swears by their 1988 album Too Hot To Sleep) and she even took me to see them at some point in the 80s, my first concert! They’ll always have a spot in my heart for that if nothing else, but this is a terrible song and a horrible harbinger of the kind of middling rock ballad trash that would become commonplace as the decade wore on.
85. Stevie Wonder – “Part-Time Lover”
There are a lot of themes that make there way through multiple videos on this list, but one of the most omnipresent is “infidelity and Venetian blinds.” This is the second video on the list, after The Hotels one, with prominent usage of Venetian blinds to convey a mood. This one does it even better though. I wish a proper HD version of this video existed, it would look amazing.
And the Venetian blind silhouettes aren’t even the most striking images here. Stevie commands your attention with his triangle of light. Say what you will about 80s Stevie Wonder, but “check me rocking out in my triangle” is a good look. I bet that’s where Daft Punk got the idea.
This video is just full of good stuff. In a rare move (but one we see at least one more time on this countdown) the performance clip and the narrative story intersect at the climax. And it’s a great twist. The two sets of lovers in the video find out that they’re cheating on each other by catching them with their side action at the Stevie Wonder concert! Imagine finding out that both you and your significant other were cheating on each other while at an 80s Stevie Wonder concert. You’d have to come to terms with both your shitty taste in music and your mutual lack of respect for each other. That’d be a rough night.
As 80s Stevie goes, “Part Time Lover” is probably a high point. It was certainly his last hit of any note. The follow-up single “Go Home” would actually be his last top ten hit to this day. Damn shame.
84. Madonna – “Dress You Up”
God I Love this song.
From 1984 to 1985, Madonna had seven hit singles spanning two of her albums and two soundtracks. This dropped right in the middle, between “Material Girl” and “Angel.” As Madonna hits go, I feel that it’s stood the test of time less than the former, but more than the latter. It’s no one’s go to Madonna tune, but you’re not going to find many haters of it either. I wonder if it would’ve resonated more if it had a proper video instead of just a performance clip. I get why they couldn’t bother for a full-fledged music video though, I suspect she was rather busy at the time.
Madonna will, of course, show up again on this countdown, she ain’t done yet.
83. Mick Jagger – “Lucky In Love”
I recall Mick’s half-succubussed face and wild gyrations slightly disturbing me as a child. I imagine if I had seen the ghastly visage of his face that opens this video when I was young, I probably would’ve pissed myself and had nightmares for a week. Now that I think about it, one time when I was a kid I had a dream that the Rolling Stones were zombies and tried to kill me, so maybe this was why.
I’m struggling to figure out how this video or song were ever popular. It’s not like the Stones were riding some massive wave of popularity in 1985. Their last album up to this point was Undercover, which is not a good record, but the worst song on that album is better than this pathetic excuse for Mick Jagger howling like a cat on ketamine hooked up to a car battery. This song is just terrible, and the people of 1985 have some explaining to do for making it a hit single. How dare they.
There are many worse songs on this list. Hell, Mick Jagger has a worse song on this list, but this might be the least excusable terrible song on this list. Some of the bad songs here are just bland or boring. Others are from artists who were riding their crest of popularity, or popular trends, so their success makes sense. Nothing about this song makes sense. Nothing about it being popular makes sense. About the only thing about this song that makes sense is that, in the years between 1985 and now, it’s been thankfully forgotten by the majority of the population.
Fucking hell. Goddamn.
82. Michael McDonald – “No Lookin’ Back”
People like to say that MTV was the voice of the youth. And while legions of pre-teens and teens no doubt made the majority of their demographic, an older audience were also a substantial chunk of their viewership. How the hell else could Michael McDonald make his way onto the Top 100? I refuse, absolutely refuse, to believe that there were gaggles of teenagers in 1985 who were going mad for the smooth white boy soul of Michael Motherfucking McDonald.
This song is fine. It’s fine. It’s second rate Loggins and Messina by the way of middling 80s Greg Allman, but whatever. Old white men need music too. It’s too nothing for me to even hate it. Like most Michael McDonald it’s the soundtrack for a dentist’s office, nothing more, nothing less.
Thankfully, McDonald will not be on this list again, nor will he ever appear on any other top 100 list on MTV in the 80s, he didn’t release another album until 1990.
81: The Power Station – “Some Like It Hot”
The second not Duran Duran on the list, this one the side project of John Taylor and Andy Taylor, with Robert Palmer on vocals.
When it came to music videos, Duran Duran were masters of the medium, and that extends to their work with their side-projects. This is a wonderful slice of 1985. You could grab a freeze frame of nearly any shot and turn it into a vaporwave album cover. Love that model. So sexy she makes shaving her armpits look hot. Neon hot.
The best thing about the video is that it feels hobbled together with random edits but somehow still works. Even the lack of cohesion among the band is great. Robert Palmer is dressed up like a priest. Why? Who the hell knows. Who the hell cares. He’s making it work. He’s Robert Palmer, he could make anything work. The dude would look sexy in a butcher’s smock. John Taylor looks like a replacement member for post Stan Ridgway Wall of Voodoo with that British Texan post-punk rocker style. Sure, also why not? Meanwhile drummer Tony Thompson is just there in a white mesh shirt because if I had that body I’d wear a white mesh shirt too. My favorite is Andy Taylor though, who is rocking a look that can only be described as “I just left Mad Max and now I gotta go to a Cult concert.” They’re all completely incongruous from each other to the extent that it feels like their wardrobe was curated by a page from a mad-libs book.
This song is great, and it had an energy and vibe about it that was out-of-place in 1985. In an interview with the band that MTV played during the countdown, the group described their sound as a mix of funk, pop and heavy metal, and while I don’t hear the heavy metal, it certainly has a good funk vibe to it, with a hell of a groove. It’s not entirely original, but it’s just off-center enough to stand out.
Of the not Duran Durans, Power Station would have the bigger hit, but they wouldn’t be able to make it last. They scored a couple more hits off the album, including their rad cover of “Bang A Gong,” but Palmer took the name recognition the group gave him and he bounced immediately to record Riptide, which was probably a good decision. He would rejoin the group to release one more album (sans John Taylor) but that one failed to chart.
80. Jeff Beck-Rod Stewart – “People Get Ready”
When I first came to Japan for vacation several years ago, my tour guide, who was a huge music geek, said that her boyfriend was in a band with someone who was dubbed “Japan’s Jeff Beck” and it took all the restraint in my body not to reply with “You mean you say his name and people say, ‘oh, yeah I think I heard of him'”?
To me, Jeff Beck is the other other guitarist from The Yardbirds and that’s it. Does he have an identifiable style or sound? Maybe. Have I ever heard it in any of the boring, sedate, banal singles he was able to sneak onto the radio over the years? Definitely not. The worst I can say about him is that I can’t say much about him, so I guess he could be worse.
He could be Rod Stewart.
Sure, “Young Turks” is great but let’s be real, this song is one of many crimes against humanity that Rod Stewart unleashed upon the unsuspecting listening public, a string of wallpaper rock singles that continue to have a stranglehold on easy listening radio to this day.
They all just prove that “Maggie May” is one of the greatest songs of all-time, how else could he have gotten away with crap like this for more than 40 damn years.
Part three coming up next week!
Leave a Reply