Microsoft’s “Fuck You” to Consumers – An Obscene Reading of an Obscene Proposal

Whenever a new gaming system is announced, gamers immediately have more questions than the developers are willing to answer. How many games will be coming out at launch? What are the technical specs of the system? Will it be backwards compatible? How much will it cost? And so on and so forth.

But with this upcoming generation gamers have been forced to ask a question that they never thought they’d have to.

Will I have the right to play the game that I bought?

Last month, Microsoft announced its new gaming system, the horribly named Xbox One. In the wake of that announcement, various heads at the company made conflicting statements about the system’s used games policy. Some said used games will remain the same, while others said that gamers wouldn’t be able to trade-in their disc-based games without paying some sort of processing fee. It was a mess.

So last week, Microsoft finally caved to pressure, and issued a statement explaining how the Xbox One will (and won’t) work with used games.

And it’s a bunch of motherfucking bullshit.

I’m sorry, was that harsh? Was that vulgar?

Perhaps, but it’s just as harsh and vulgar as what Microsoft is proposing with their new system; one of the most blatant and obscene abuses of consumer rights that the gaming industry has ever known.

But you might not know that by reading the official statement, because while Microsoft is committed to destroying your rights as a consumer, they really don’t want you to think so. To that end, they’ve disguised every piece of their horrendous rights-removing policy with some of the most egregious examples of corporate doublespeak that I’ve ever seen. It’s really remarkable. And by remarkable, I mean absolutely horrifying. Because some people are actually buying into it as “not that bad.”

So, in case you are one of those people, please take this chance to re-read some choice sections from Microsoft’s official statement, along with my interpretations of what I think they’re actually saying, the vulgar truth on how Microsoft feels about you, the consumer.

Two weeks ago we introduced Xbox One, the all-in-one games and entertainment device. Designed for today and the decade ahead, Xbox One puts you at the center of all of your games, TV, movies, music, sports and more. We also shared how Xbox One is built to amplify a new generation of Xbox Live that’s more powerful, personal and intelligent.

And today, we would like to share more information about our vision for Xbox One as a modern, connected device; our games licensing policies; and our privacy principles for the new Kinect sensor.

Two weeks ago we announced our new system. While we hoped that flashy videos of football games and dogs in Call Of Duty would serve to distract you fucking idiots into ignoring just how we plan on fucking you over, it didn’t fucking work. So here are all the details on how we will precisely be fucking you over. But you might want to take some notes asshole, and maybe make a chart too, because we’re purposely making our bullshit as vague and confusing as possible, the less you actually figure out how much we fucking hate you, the better. For us anyways.

With our modern architecture, Xbox One games will load more quickly, will be always accessible from the cloud, and there is no physical limit to the size or scope of the content provided.

Games are going to load so fucking fast. How fucking fast? So fucking fast that we hope you’ll be playing them before you realized just how much we fucked your stupid ass over.

Buy the way you want—disc or digital—on the same day: You’ll be able to buy disc-based games at traditional retailers or online through Xbox Live, on day of release. Discs will continue to be a great way to install your games quickly.

Listen you little shit: We want you to buy all of your games digitally. Why? Fucking guess, dickhead; because you can’t trade or sell those! That means less used games for other people to buy!

But hey, want to be an asshole? Fine, buy your games on disc: LIKE AN ASSHOLE. After the game installs you can go ahead and throw that motherfucker away, because that shit will be fucking useless to you, and probably to everyone else too. No, it’s not a fucking design flaw, we designed it that way. It’s a purposeful move to remove your rights and give them to us and our developers.

We don’t fucking care about your rights, you figure that out yet?

Dont’ worry, you will.

Access your entire games library from any Xbox One—no discs required: After signing in and installing, you can play any of your games from any Xbox One because a digital copy of your game is stored on your console and in the cloud. So, for example, while you are logged in at your friend’s house, you can play your games.

Yeah, we know you can already do this with 90% of your games for the Xbox 360,  because they’re on fucking discs (we fucking hate those things, you know that?). But hey, we’re not fucking idiots (not like you, you fucking idiot), so we’re not going to mention that here.

We’re also not going to mention that not everyone has a reliable Internet connection (Seriously? Fuck those assholes. What are they, poor?) or mention that for even those who do, downloading a 20+ GB game is no fucking joke and will take fucking hours. Because we are lying to you and trying to convince you that “cloud gaming” (how’s that buzzword for you fucking idiots?) is the way to go, when it really offers you next to no real benefits.

Share access to your games with everyone inside your home: Your friends and family, your guests and acquaintances get unlimited access to all of your games. Anyone can play your games on your console–regardless of whether you are logged in or their relationship to you.

That’s right, we’re trying to sell you “people can play your games on your system” as a revolutionary fucking feature. We really think that little of you. We’re also hoping you’re too stupid to fucking notice that this means your friends can’t borrow your game and play it at their house if you’re not there. Because fuck that. We want to make it as hard as fucking possible for your shitheads to share your games.

What’s that? You want to share your games? You fucking communist!

Give your family access to your entire games library anytime, anywhere: Xbox One will enable new forms of access for families. Up to ten members of your family can log in and play from your shared games library on any Xbox One. Just like today, a family member can play your copy of Forza Motorsport at a friend’s house. Only now, they will see not just Forza, but all of your shared games. You can always play your games, and any one of your family members can be playing from your shared library at a given time.

By “anytime, anywhere” we mean “any system that your account is logged into.” See how we front loaded this bullshit with the “ten members” part while burying the part where we say that only two people on any account can be playing at the same time?

Fuckers missed that on the first read through I bet.

Check that shit again! We didn’t say “anyone!” We said “any ONE,” as in, “you and only one other person can play your games at any time.” So if you were hoping on setting up a family account with your friends so you could share games, we got that shit covered. No fucking way. Not going to happen.

Trade-in and resell your disc-based games: Today, some gamers choose to sell their old disc-based games back for cash and credit. We designed Xbox One so game publishers can enable you to trade in your games at participating retailers. Microsoft does not charge a platform fee to retailers, publishers, or consumers for enabling transfer of these games.

We hate assholes who buy games on discs, but you know who we fucking hate even more? Assholes who sell used games on discs! Seriously, fuck those people!

To stop that horseshit, we’re going to make it as hard as possible for them to do that, but we’re fucking clever, so in actuality we’re going to pass the buck on to the fucking developers on this one. We’ll let them choose how much they’ll fuck you over. So hey, some game publishers might let you buy and sell their games right away with no hassles at all. Others might require a fee (remember assholes, we said WE’RE not charging a fee, we didn’t say jack about companies), and others might just say “fuck you, once you buy it you got it for life.” Even better, they can change this on the fly! So at any moment they might decide a game is impossible to fucking re-sell, effectively eliminating those fucking used games for good!

Is all that too ambiguous and confusing for you, you stupid shit? Oh gee, that’s too fucking bad.

Give your games to friends: Xbox One is designed so game publishers can enable you to give your disc-based games to your friends. There are no fees charged as part of these transfers. There are two requirements: you can only give them to people who have been on your friends list for at least 30 days and each game can only be given once.

That’s right assholes! Give games to your friends. But you’re only giving them once. That means no trading back and forth and no fucking “sharing,” that’s for fucking sure.

What are you, fucking poor? Buy your own shit.

And in case you were wondering, that “30 day” bullshit? We set that up so you can’t just sell your games to anyone on eBay. Think about it motherfucker. This whole system makes it impossible for you to sell your games on your own, directly to another person. You don’t want to get Gamestop or another business involved? What the fuck? Do you hate capitalism? I fucking knew you were a commie.

In our role as a game publisher, Microsoft Studios will enable you to give your games to friends or trade in your Xbox One games at participating retailers. Third party publishers may opt in or out of supporting game resale and may set up business terms or transfer fees with retailers. Microsoft does not receive any compensation as part of this. In addition, third party publishers can enable you to give games to friends. Loaning or renting games won’t be available at launch, but we are exploring the possibilities with our partners.

Okay, if you actually have figured out that we’re fucking you over (and holy shit we are so fucking you over, it’s like woah) then hey, don’t blame us! Blame those third party publishers! They’re the real bad guys! They’re making us do this! Mad at them now? Good! Because they’re the ones you’ll have to blame when you find out you can’t lend games to a friend or even rent a game. Yeah, that’s right, it’s their fault. I mean, we set up the system to make this bullshit fucking possible, but whatever, it’s all their fault.

And we ain’t exploring shit. Just to be clear. Fuck you.

As we move into this new generation of games and entertainment, from time to time, Microsoft may change its policies, terms, products and services to reflect modifications and improvements to our services, feedback from customers and our business partners or changes in our business priorities and business models or for other reasons. We may also cease to offer certain services or products for similar reasons.

As fucked up and evil as this shit is now, we can make it even more fucked up and evil at the flick of a fucking switch. Literally. No, for real, we have a switch that just says “fuck you.” We flick that and all of your games don’t work. It’s awesome!

In the months ahead, we will continue to listen to your feedback as we meet with our partners in the ecosystem to bring additional detail about our policies.

By “listen to your feedback” we meant “we print out your emails and ship them out to our Chinese factories for use as toilet paper.” Fuck you.

We are excited about this new generation of games and entertainment and look forward to sharing more news with our fans.

Fuck you.

 

31 Responses to Microsoft’s “Fuck You” to Consumers – An Obscene Reading of an Obscene Proposal

  • dm says:

    one of the best articles I’ve ever read. Good F-ing read!

  • Ryan says:

    Well articulated rant. I second it.

  • Pingback: The PS4 is Crushing Xbox One in Pre-orders – But Why? | Happy Happy Gaming

  • ad says:

    You got it all right. Thx for sharing your awareness.

    Money rules still, but we’re getting more and more aware. The money/power craving system will crumble into dust. Trade will disappear. Humanity will finally be free and progress will truly start. Love is freedom. It is God’s will.

    Anonymous is alive, erimus libera tandem

  • GF says:

    I hate the fucks……………I heard of the antichrist…. Microsoft is the MOST EVIL thing on this planet…..I hope the unknowing worker for microsoft have a plan to save their children. The Microsoft company is no more than a bunch of strong armed gun wielding fucks that will get in your pocket before you hit the ground after they have shot you in the face. Microsoft is a BLEMISH on our society. A SORE of people. BY ALL MEANS, FOLKS… a down right CRIME. WE all would like to live a fair and just life,….. BUT WTF….. introduce the criminals galore….. MICROSOFT.

  • Frank in Australia says:

    I really do not know about games but as a MCP from 2000, I have an opinion of MS too.

    I would like to say that MS is well intentioned, credible, ethical, and presents a solid, reliable, and usable product, but I can’t say that because the poorly executed rubbish I use is only fit for the tip (Australian for rubbish dump). The half-arsed crap that is W&, the mish-mash of shit that is Office and the other miscellaneous muck it produces is shameful.

    I can only echo the previous comments; crash and burn MS, you deserve it for the contempt you show the world. As for Gate’s “philanthropist’, it is only a reflection of the arrogance and disdain he has for humanity that he throws out “crumbs” for the poor. How much has he kept that can’t be spent in 10 or even a 100 life-times? As for the “folksy” façade, he is as shifty as a shit-house rat.

  • Bravo To You James ,where are you from I’m willing to bet your Canadian, maybe east.Mabye not.

    I could not have said it better or more complete.
    It all rings the same bell with windows 8.1
    Yup sucker your pucker up cause were gonna give you a ….. hole’in,like it or lump it.

  • FUCK MICROSOFT says:

    Yes. Fuck Microsoft. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Microsoft and every fucking idiot who thinks they are a good company

  • david says:

    I don’t play games, but have to agree 100% with you – Microsoft is an asshole. Just trying to control a computer which belongs to me is a nightmare – system (Microsoft) rights over user rights, that’s their moto. Starting with XP I quit buying their OS crap, they should be paying me for the headaches. And you know what that means, one less buyer of Microsoft Legit.

  • Doomed says:

    Bend over motherfuckers..

    Bill Gates will strip out $1000 from your hard earned wages…
    then give back $10 to charity/promos/whatever…
    and you will grateful,
    like a good peon should.

  • AngryMan says:

    Every time I turn my PC on, I get fucked over by MS secretely saying, “Hello there, stupid consumer who can’t make his own OS, here’s a new fucking problem for you, yes YOU, to solve all on your own! Because once you buy our products, which we intentionally program to fail as we have the brightest evil minds on the planet, we will try our best to make you stay with us forever and ever..
    We do that by making you download our rubbish service packs and updates and patches that we created long before you knew that we’d need them. Yes! We knew that you were going to stay onboard just so that we can spoonfeed you our bullshit.
    I bet that software over there running your game is not going to work or that brand new application you installed is going to make your computer worse. But here, why not try our game consoles…you’ll never need to own another software disc ever again. Why, you might ask? Because you, the consumer, only deserve to give us money, not to make money back from the mistake of buying our crap.

    Just eat your porridge like a good little orphan and be grateful, mr/mrs consumer.

  • steve says:

    I fucking H A T E Microsoft sooo much
    may Bill Gates die and be reborn as a windows virus

  • joebelow says:

    Give me an alternative that would run my 3th party Windows programs without needing Windows and I’ll take it in a minute.

  • Roger Dodger says:

    Microshit only sold 100 X-Box ones this week in the technologically advanced country I inhabit.
    Serious.
    The fuckers dont know why.

  • Manuel says:

    hey this is about the windows 10 upgrade that I got for free from Microsoft, because I just bought my laptop with windows 8.1 after the upgrade at the same time or shortly after the up grade I started having issues with my system and could not figure it out, and my antivirus did not pick up anything, now what ever it was finally reviled its self and its the 3D Bubble virus,
    ok here is the issue Microsoft does not have a removal tool for this, supposedly they do for windows 8.1 and 7 an xp vista. but not windows 10, I contact support and they will remove it for 140. $ under there protection plan. I apparntly don’t have any warranty with Microsoft, and I don’t have any protection plan, but I do with my office 365, let me get this straight I pay for office 365 and I am covered and I pay for windows 8.1 for less than 4 month and have to upgrade to windows 10. for free, and I don’t get shit, .my opinion this virus was a sleeper virus that had another component added with ever update the Microsoft did, because there has been an enormous amount since the upgrade came out, and now Microsoft is trying to replenish there coffers for all the free upgrades they had to release to the public, buy planting this in there up grade,, personally they can buy me a new laptop or go fuck themselves you should see the convo I had with there online tech support too. I took photos of that completely stupid the she only had typed four different things and that was all. son I decided to give her a few thoughts, non disrespectful but enough to make my point., thans and have a good one.,!!!!

  • Rob says:

    not fuckin harsh enough!!!
    Besides xbox issues -try contacting microsoft – you stand a better chance of have the pope serve you tea and shine your shoes!!!
    Let me not mention Windows 10 / Groove Music / Microsoft’s Wi-Fi direct / Edge Browser / Phone Companion / One Drive / Windows 10 Mail / Cortana / Search from Start /
    the list of endless Fucking issues continues

    Not even anti-psychotic medication can calm me down right now – I’m fucking livid!!

  • MANUEL says:

    Brother let us pray because you know it has gone to far when big corporate companies dont have to answer to no one, but themselves. When it is us the consumer who make them rich. Boycotting wont make a dent in what they have. And there is nothing we can do about it. All i can say is lets pray. Because sanity is all will have left. Dont let them take that from you!

  • pedda says:

    You know what, M$ good bye

  • Joyce Darling says:

    This reply is no more obscene than what windows 10 AKA Microsoft has done in it’s marketing this piece of sh-t!

  • Jimmy TT says:

    BILL GATES IS A MOTHER FCKN COCKAROACH PIECE OF SHIT! HE IS A PART OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND A MEMBER OF THE SKULL AND BONES SOCIETY! BOYCOTT ANYTHING AFFILIATED WITH MICROSOFT AND BILLS FCKN EMPIRE. WHEN YOU WANT TO RESTORE HOTMAIL WHEN THEY FCKN HACKED IN MINE THEY WANTED ALL OF MY PERSONAL INFORMATION EVEN MY FCKN DOB AND PLACE OF BIRTH. WHEN I HAD CONTACTED SUPPORT ALL I GOT WAS A SAND DUNE NIGGER THAT IS IN INDIA. THIS IS JUST THE WAY IT IS ALL SET UP TO CREATE THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND TRY TO ENSLAVE US WITH A MICRO CHIP! WHEN THAT DAY COMES I’LL PICK UP MY GUN AND CAP THOSE FCKN COCKROACHES. BILL IS ON THE TOP OF THE LIST! HE IS A SHAPE SHIFTER AFFILIATED WITH ALIENS. WAKE UP EVERYONE! GOT TO ALEX JONES, TEXX MARS, DAVID ICKE ,CUTTING EDGE MINISTRIES!

  • Jimmy TT says:

    Fucken rights!

  • Mick Gill China says:

    yes I agree , they don’t take every possibility or circumstance into consideration either ( as if we are ALL Sheep) You buy a PC with their system , then change everything in it as the kids their have nothing better to do , NO FUCKING DVD Drive ! I have moved to a remote area , NO TV , so I brought some DVDs , Oh Fuck I CANNOT get one fucking add on Player to work despite the manufactures claims , What gives MS the right to not include media player on my PC ? I specifically bought a windows PC as I need the DVD Drive for my job ! Now some half wit Motherfucker decides NO Mike , we are removing that vital piece of hardware form you ! Why ? Oh Fuck I don’t know , my boss told me to fuck someone over with Windows 10 and you are in the net ! Sorry hahahahah, FUCK , I should have bought an Apple with a disc drive ….Too fucking late now , You assholes !! Wake up , ask !!! STOP FUCKING TELLING !!!!

  • Mick Gill China says:

    Oh Bill Darling Bill said , life wasn’t meant to be easy !!! Right on Big Boy , so why does your company insist on making it harder ???? we cant live without a PC these days so ……that gives you right and your fucking laidback wankers open season on the rest of us ?

  • hcforall says:

    SUCK MY DICK you USELESS Mutherfuckers – EVERY fucking one of you NEEDS TO BE SHOT and PISSED ON

    I HOPE YOU ALL GET TERMINAL CANCER and DIE a MISERABLE Slow AGONIZING DEATH

    I WANT TO SEE MICROSOFT GO OUT OF BUSINESS FOREVER

    I Have Windows 7 / CAN’T Stand 8 or 8.1 – ***WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH WINDOWS 10

    QUIT HARASSING ME WITH IT AND FORCING IT ON ME and The World

    You Say You’re NOT FORCING IT / THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT

    I Have BEEN LIED TO By Microsoft Repeatedly / LIARS are in The SAME CATEGORY as THIEVES

    YOU SNAKY MUTHERFUCKERS

    /////

    *****GIVE PEOPLE A SIMPLE OPT OUT LINK BUT YOU REFUSE TO DO THAT

    You DRY ASS FUCK Everyone instead You PIECES of SLIME SHIT you Know Full Well What You’re Calculating and Deliberately DOING TO THE WORLD

    YOU DON’T CARE WHAT THIS DOES TO PEOPLE AS LONG AS MICROSOFT’s AGENDA IS SERVED THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS

    *****ZERO INTEGRITY COWARDS / WORM LEAKY BASTARDS

    FUMING EVEN PISSING AWAY PRECIOUS TIME AGAIN TELLING YOU THIS SHIT

    IT’S A WASTE OF FUCKING TIME – YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO EVERYONE

    /////

    I’m DONE with Microsoft / I’M FINDING ANOTHER OPERATING SYSTEM

    It Doesn’t Matter IF IT DOESN’T WORK AS GOOD / It’s WORTH IT Just To GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOU SNAKY MUTHERFUCKERS

    SUCK MY DICK

    I Can’t Think of BAD ENOUGH SHIT To RAM Down Your Throats

    ***POST THIS AT THE NEXT MICROSOFT CORPORATE MEETING VIDEO SCREEN FOR ALL THE NECKTIES TO CHOKE ON

    ANY of You’re DESCENT Employees Should Be Quitting in MASS EXODUS Cuz They CAN’T LIVE WITH THEMSELVES KNOWING They Work for a Company WHO’S FUCKING THE WORLD

    *****NONE of this MATTERS ANYWAY / YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING IT / Your MISERABLE NECKTIES CALL THE SHOTS

    SUCK MY DICK YOU WORMY SCUM PIECES OF SHIT

    Told To Go To Microsoft Community Site / THERE:

    You Sugar Coat and Block out All The ACTUAL LANGUAGE MORE WORMY LEAKY COWARDICE
    Get Over it You Fucking Fruitloops – Blocked so people can’t read the Whole Story They Get The BLOW SUNSHINE UP YOUR ASS VERSION
    PLAY THAT GAME I’LL PRINT IT OFF AND POSTAL MAIL TO AS MANY MICROSOFT ADDRESS I CAN FIND / SUCK MY DICK

  • dobe0331 says:

    I once tried to quit Microsoft forever, but I found that is too difficult because of the WHOLE FUCKING ECOSYSTEM! Give me an alternative for those Windows-only commercial software and I’ll take it less than one minute.
    I even tried Windows 10 mobile and found it is incredibly buggy. I believe that FUCKERSOFT toss most of their investment on HOW TO MAKE IDIOTS BUY THEIR FUCKING CRAP PRODUCT!
    Last time I had some problem with my Windows 10 PC and contacted online technical support. But What the fuck that motherfucker did? He download some fucking scanning software and advertise me some FUCKING PROTECTION PLAN! FUCK YOU MICROSOFT! I BOUGHT YOUR PRODUCT AND EVEN NEED TO PAY EXTRA FOR PROTECTION! I told that motherfucker “GO FUCK YOURSELF.”
    If M$ will release their Office product on Linux, I’ll certainly quit from Fucking Windows!

  • billgates isanasshole says:

    IS THERE ANY WAY TO STOP THESE FUCKING MICROSOFT UPDATES?

  • Linux + LibreOffice

  • Ask Cortana if she feels Sick Yet. says:

    Time for the Government to step in and put a stop to this abuse or bring this lot to the High court room.That day is coming like a Run Away Train (Or you could just turn it off) and read the new book about Windows10 for dummies.
    Can it be Canned yes it Can. Patience my Friends no one is Bigger than the people. (We are the People) Laptops Cause cancer if left on your Lap to long, Mobiles Cause Tumors when stuck on the ear to long,(Pc`s cause ( leukemia.)
    Have you been exposed to this, the rise in deaths in the UK are overwhelming if you have any sense you would put a stop to it now and the big one( Laptops fry sperm) do you have a charger running in your room from and Xbox beside your kids head then your Frying there Brain( Madness) is on the increase if your sitting next to that little drum noise from the Pc then your going to end up a Cabbage before your 37 the fact is Your Government Has Let you down Allowing these Products into your Life( I myself am dying) to late for me but i blame Microsoft for my death this is the Honest truth hope this gets out there and helps the right people, stand up for yourself`s and fight back i have no fight left, I would love to be alive to see the day when Man they call God behind Microsoft is brought to his knees in shame for the mess hes causing all over the planet hope you all have a Merry Christmas don`t buy your kids a box of Radiation this Christmas you heard it from a Dying Family Man( God Bless you all) I will see that Bastard in Hell

  • Mad as Hell says:

    We need to all band together, grab some sticky bombs, show up at Microcraft offices, toss them all over ALL the bulldings, all over Billy Fucking Goat Gates’s house, stand back and watch the fireworks. I would pay good money to do that. I would p[ay way more than I would for anything associated with this deplorable fucking cunt of a company.

    The world is not progressing for the people. It is all about the top dogs, we are all peons to the New World Oder and we need to start waking up and taking a fucking stand. Trump not withstanding. Some one please shoot this motherfucking scum bag. In fact…line up Trump the Turd Dump, all his cunty kids because they will be NO better that this Wihte Supremist CUNT., Billy Gay Goat fucker, and numerous others, and we all piss on them until the fukcing drown…slowly….gasping for air.

  • BIG CUNT says:

    Fucking Excellent. I wanna pay HUGE money to join the sticky bomb parade. Lets fucking get on that right NOW! That would be the most spectacular sight the world has know. FUCK THE CUNTS AT MICROSOFT, DRY FUCK BILLY’S ASS WITH A SPLINTERED BAT, FASTER THE BETTER…TO BAD HE WOULD ENJOY IT. FAG THAT HE IS. AND AN UGLY MOTHERFUCKER AT THAT.

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