A Collection of Strange Japanese Band Names

I go to Tower Records almost every week. I never know what I’ll find there, whether it be a deluxe edition of a classic album, a Japanese edition of a new release that includes exclusive bonus tracks, or an amazing album by a Japanese artist I had never heard of. It’s a smorgasbord of audio delights that keep my ears happy and my wallet empty.

An auxiliary reason for my frequent travels to the store is to check out the latest in the never-ending army of wacky Japanese band names. You’d think after four years that this shit would get old, but it doesn’t.

Here are some of the odder ones I’ve seen in my time here. All photos were taken from displays at either the Shibuya or Shinjuku Tower Records.

I mean, where else are they gonna put them? Wait, don’t answer that question.

Be on the lookout for their side-project, “Han Solo Baseball Team.”

If I listen to this band I’ll get hives Side-note: New Romantic never died in Japan.

I don’t want to know how you make a withdrawal.

Popcorn Labyrinth is the album name. The band is Snowkel.

I see this name a lot. They must be moderately popular. But for the life of me I cannot figure out what they were going for with that name.

I WOULD WATCH BEARS PLAY BASEBALL SIGN ME UP.

A good two-fer of WTF

 

Articles and plural vs singular are hard.

 

Hanna-Barbera needs to shut these guys down.

 

Did they mean “phantoms?” Did they mean “fat man’s?” Does it matter?

 

They are not a Christmas-themed Dexy’s Midnight Runners cover band. Sadly.

 

Well, they’re not wrong. Juice does equal Juice.

The band is pronounced Key-ke. But yikes that’s unfortunate.

 

Full name Al Co Holic.

 

Let’s take a song name about a school shooting and use it for our idol group. Fuck these guys.

 

Oh dear.

In their defense, it’s not stupider than most Western metal band names.

Articles are hard. Apostrophes more so.

The random comma before Fear annoys the shit out of me. Also, these guys are horrible.

 

LEAVE THE MONKEY ALONE.

 

That dude’s face looks like a Happle.

 

Why is Pimp in quotes? Soil? I have so many questions.

 

Sounds like a sex toy shop in Akihabara.

 

I hope they didn’t know what else “beaver” can mean and are just really into actual beavers.

 

Emo AF

 

I feel like these guys should hang out with Happle.

 

World Salad Rock

 

Given Japan’s insane drug laws I guarantee you these guys have never smoked weed.

 

More band names based on wrestling moves please.

 

It’s almost like the last line of a haiku.

 

They are neither.

 

Ironically they’re a death metal band. (Actually they’re not.)

 

This Little Mermaid sequel goes places.

 

After you listen to them your pee smells weird.

 

Adjective vs. noun choice can be hard too.

 

I knew zombies would become corporate rock eventually.

 

This must mean something but what the fuck.

 

This is bullshit. There’s no cheap cheese in Japan.

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